5 Reasons Why A Doula Won’t Tell You Her Birth Story


“So, tell me about your birth!”

One of the most common inquiries I hear during client interviews is, “So, tell me about your birth!”  While doulas are more than happy to answer any question about birth in general, it gets a little dicey when this one comes up!  Why?  Well, there’s no easy answer.  A doula wants her client to see her as a blank slate, ready to morph into whatever version of the super support woman her client needs at any given time!   It is easy to get sidetracked by how awesome her home birth may have been or how crappy it felt recovering from an emergency C-section; but the general idea is to prove to any potential client that she will be supported in her birth journey, no matter what.  So, here are 5 reasons why your doula won’t tell you her birth story:

  • She’s Taught Not To:  Doulaing 101

A lot of time in doula training is spent on keeping your own views out of the birthing room.  Just because I may advocate for natural birth or breastfeeding or a hundred other causes, that doesn’t mean that I get to impose those beliefs on you!  Your birth, your way!

  • It’s Embarrassing:  I Pooped On The Table

Just listen to anyone recount their birth experience and inevitably, there is a tale of how someone pooped on the bed giving birth, or their water broke at the Thanksgiving dinner table, or their father in law walked in on them having some, shall we say, adult festivities, to get the labor started!  While birth is nothing to be ashamed of, not everyone is ready for an exposé.

  • She May Not Remember It:  Drugged or Delirious

With all the pain medications available these days, there are very few that enhance the ability to stay coherent.  If you’ve ever witnessed a laboring woman in the middle of a contraction, you’ve probably heard some interesting things come out of her mouth!  The functions of the brain at that time are very primal and it’s not at all uncommon for a woman to have a completely different account of events than what actually took place, medicated or not.

  • She’s Trying To Forget It:  Birth Trauma, Table for 2

In a perfect world, all births have happy endings!  However, in this world, sometimes outcomes are not always so nice.  When things don’t work out quite as planned, there is a healing process that a mother goes through in order to make peace with those events.  She may not be ready to revisit those feelings associated with her birth yet.

And the #1 reason is:

  • It’s Just Not All That Important!

Your birth experience is just that:  YOURS!  However you choose to birth is up to you.  The doula’s job is to support your wishes, whatever they may be!  You want a natural, un-medicated birth, great!  You want an epidural, fantastic!  If a doula does her job right, you will never know what her personal birth preferences are because they simply don’t matter!

Interested in what A Beautiful Creation Doula has to offer?  Please visit my website!

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